Hawk omens & Names for the baby

Alright, so I am further on my way to November 2010, the debut of my show about being a black woman with bipolar disorder.

I told my mama I had committed myself to writing this show. As always, she listened, encouraged, and then.....GASPED. Turns out as I was talking a large hawk landed on her deck, so close she felt she could reach out and let it peck her arm to death. Seriously, though, she decided it was a good omen. She generously loaned the silent bird-of-prey's energy to my project and my new lease on life. I looked up hawks in a book on animal totems that I have. Sure enough it backed up my mother's insights. Hawks, in many indigenous cultures, represent vision, guidance, and soaring to new heights. The hawk sat for our whole conversation. The stamp has been pressed, at least in our book.

So I have been brainstorming a lot. I know the task will be to sit my tail down and get all of these ideas out, then cut the mess out of them so I don't have a 10 hr. monologue to give y'all at the end of all this.


I brainstormed titles - some were horrible, others have promise. Let me know what you think:

• Certified Crazy

• Insane Inside
  
• So Damned Blessed
  
• Danger to Self and Others (boo!)
  
• Delusions
  
• Medicated
  
• Fire and Blues
  
• Drowning in Red
  
• Chaos' Funeral/Abyss/Grave/Torture
  
• Fury Don't Rest
  
• Storm (also the name of a song I wrote which will likely be in the show)
  
• Unwelcome Gifts (I kinda like this one - sounds like a memoir)
  
• Peace to Panic
  
• Constant Unrest
  
• Pills for Life

• Life's Pill/Life Pills
  
• (Living?) Inside Fear
  
• Color Me Crazy (too hokey?)

• Never Would Have Guessed/ You'll Never Guess

• World of Distortion(s)/Distorted World
  

Of course, the final title will be chosen after I actually WRITE THE SHOW. But that is happening, too, I can't believe it but I am writing scenes on notecards to be shuffled and put in order later. So excited to share, thanks for reading!

Feedback is appreciated.

Have a creative day,

Kali

http://www.kaliferguson.com/
kali@kaliferguson.com

No, seriously, I am birthing myself again....

Where to begin (don't you hate it when people say that - we know where tostart!)? I am all but done with a fellowship at Arts for Life North Carolina, http://www.aflnc.org/, teaching creative writing to children with cancer and other chronic and sometimes terminal illnesses. It was a short but enriching experience. They trusted me to record a CD project for them that was the ultimate fun!

I got to work with the extremely creative and professional John Cloer of Velvet Rope Productions and The Cloers. He produced and recorded the cd's as well as going beyond what we asked and doing the vivid graphics and sound effects. Visit The Cloers' blog for a sound clip and more information on their work at http://www.thecloers.com/.

CD1:

I learned how to have faith in the kid's ability to handle what they were given. I saw a quiet bravery and a hunger to express in the "patients" as I stumbled for words and held back tears watching them bear what seems to be a crazy fate. Don't get me wrong, many of them are survivors and will go on to lead full, long lives. But they never know. So I hope we helped make their lives full for whatever time they have.

CD2:

Speaking of bearing burdens, during the fellowship I had many personal life adjustments to make due to my bouts with severe bipolar disorder. I had to fight off sharp anxiety and blunt depression while remaining supportive of the children at the hospital and pulling off my other work commitments - school gigs, community programs, private shows, commissioned projects, etc. I am not complaining. We all have challenges and mine are minute compared to so many that never get to express their pain.

Nevertheless, bipolar disorder is what some call a "hidden disability" and although I was originally diagnosed with it 17 years ago, it flares up with stress and lack of personal care. That's what happened this spring. It had been about 4 years since I had gotten this close to feeling the terror that comes with feeling safe in no place, not even in my own home or with my closest friends and family members. I have vowed to myself to live a life not hindered by that, and that meant I had to chill. At least for a hot minute. But I'm back (the minute was scorching, couldn't sit for long)!

The fellowship ended for me May 31, 2009. I am now still doing all those other things that make up my business, CommuniCulture. But because of a stirring in my gut that has been building up since I began to get control over this challenge, I have committed, TONIGHT, to produce a work recapturing my adventures in the land of manic depression. I hope you will come along. Projected production date: Fall 2010. Let me know if you have time or energy that will help make this happen. I'll be posting updates here frequently.

See you then (but hopefully sooner),
Kalicious